Remember how excited I was that my first round was in the quiet YMCA venue? That turned out to be not as much fun as I thought it would be - there were hardly any people there! We started late because it took so long to find the requisite number of judges, and my place in the lineup (4th out of 12) ensured I was performing to nearly empty audience.
I opened with "5am in North Dakota", and just barely squeaked in under the time limit, but I was happy with the performance - I'd been working on it all afternoon in my hotel room with my friends Lindsay, Jonida, Lauren and Michelle. It was just so hard to perform in such a big, empty space. It felt like all the energy I put into the performance got swallowed - there was no audience reaction. None. It felt more brutal than if I'd been boo'd off the stage. My scores showed it too - I placed 10th out of the 12.
In the second round, I got myself really psyched up to do "Bilingual" to the best of my ability. It's a much more emotional piece, and I already had the confidence I needed to give a solid performance. Since I scored so low in the first round, I got the chance to go third-to-last in the second round, which is strategically a better place in the lineup.
I have to say - I rocked it. I was very satisfied with the performance, and was very emotionally overwhelmed at the end of it. A number of Important And Influential And Exciting poets came over to compliment me on a job well done. Among them was my near-future teacher, Tara Hardy, who runs the Bent institute. She called it "awesome." A few times.
When all was said and done, I took 7th out of 12 in that bout, which didn't make me happy, but I wasn't crushed, either. When people ask me how I did tonight, I say, "not good enough to brag, not bad enough to cry." They seem to get that.
Tomorrow brings workshops, and more bouting - and I can't, can't wait.
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