What my mother and maybe some others don't understand is that it was never really a choice. It was supposed to be Minneapolis. I was supposed to fall in love with Minneapolis like I fell in love with Massachusetts, the kind of love that makes me think my feet will never get tired of its streets, and I'll dance to its traffic and birdsongs for years without getting bored.
And, as we already know, that didn't happen so much.
And so I'm here, a place where my feet could learn to love the hills, and my lungs could learn to love ocean mist. This time, it's not about the comfort of the ground, but the capacity to grow out of it.
Queer writing class, in case you couldn't tell, was excellent. I've got a new poem, and some crucial edits on another one. The community is strong, welcoming. Being friends with Maya and Ela doesn't hurt.
And I've decided to move here.
...and Mammy will be incredibly sad. damnit.
...and I won't get to know what it would've been to really date C, and love her in person. damnit.
...and I'll spend these years like college, visiting my family only on special holidays. damnit
...and there will be a thousand new languages to negotiate. damnit
...but it probably won't be worse than Prague!
6 comments:
Melove, if it is only "not worse than Prague" than run really fast the other way :) But it sounds like the city's really speaking to you. My blessings and love. (I sound like another fruity jew friend of ours, don't I?).
Indeed you do, my dear, but I'm happy for the blessings. I think I'm using the "not worse than Prague" line as something to hang onto while it still feels kind of impossible.
Blessings from me, too. I miss you a lot. *hug*
Well, congratulations on having made a decision, but like I said before, you've only begun your trip - why the haste? Are you (gasp) looking for a (gasp) job? place to live?
And as Abby says - don't do something because it can't be worse than something else. It's not like you are that desperate - or are you? If you want to move there - embrace this decision; start taking steps to set yourself up. See how it continues to feel. Then enjoy the rest of the trip for the vacation and poetry tour it is!
All my love and blessings too,
YLM
You don't get to choose who/where/when you fall in love, honey.
You better stay put long enough for us to move back out there!
I started to send a comment but it got too long, so I am sending it as an e-mail! LYP
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