Rachel, Westchester, NY, 1963
She walks to the elementary school
to pick up the girls. Only Rebecca
is old enough to understand
the reason for the unexpected holiday.
The teachers cry.
The children stare out the windows.
At home, Rachel makes sandwiches.
She and Rebecca listen to the radi
while the twins play.
When Fannie begs to go outside,
Rachel cradles the little girl's head
against her side.
"Not today, mamaleh.
The world is just a little
too upside down."
That night,
Rachel's husband
falls asleep
holding her hand.
After he has begun to snore,
she slips from their bed,
and tiptoes to the kitchen.
They are still there:
four suitcases
behind the potatoes
and flour.
They contain canteens and cigarettes,
and space for clothing.
She has sewn a roll of bills
into each lining.
Rachel sits on the kitchen floor,
hugging her knees.
The insomnia will last
until the world rights itself.
This much, she knows.
Raizl, Föhrenwald, Bavaria, Germany, 1945
In her second week,
someone finds a slate,
and nails it to one of the last trees.
There is no chalk. Several soft stones
rest in the crooks of the roots.
The residents of the DP camp
call it "the lost and found."
It only contains names.
Raizl visits the tree once a day.
August becomes September
in a breeze.
She sleeps outside, wrapped
in a Red Cross blanket.
The stars are a comfort -
the ground softer than the barracks.
On the day she meets her future husband,
she wakes from a dream of black birds
and broken violin songs
to find him squatting beside her,
a tin cup drowning in his curled fingers.
She studies him as she drinks:
careful patches in his boots,
sponged collar of his uniform,
dark gray eyes. a few silver threads
in his muddy hair.
They spend the afternoon
teaching each other
the names of their hometowns.
Westchester. Lodz. New York. Poland.
He beams. He tells her
she would make
a beautiful American.
How they would swoon
under the charm of her tongue.
Rachel and Stella, next to the crib, 1988
Like so many mothers,
Rebecca named her daughter
in two languages: English and Jewish.
Stella and Shoshanna. Her mother
thinks Shoshanna is a mouthful
of a name for such a morsel,
but likes the way the names pair:
stars and lilies. She painted
an ocean dotted with tiny white flowers.
Rebecca put it in the nursery,
above the crib. She thinks it's a night sky.
Rachel rocks Stella for hours,
and smiles at the ceiling -
when they grow into the same language,
Rachel will whisper her secret name
into those perfect jughandle ears. Raizl. Raizl.
A name hidden in translation,
a lily among the stars.
Raizl, on her wedding day, 1952
The name on the piece of paper looks
like new breasts, or the puckered belly
after the baby - something
to practice recognizing as her own.
She has signed herself to both
this man, and his country,
this tongue. Rachel.
It seems to halt in the middle,
uncertain of its own proclamation.
In the dark,
he will call her Raizl again,
faster, until her name
sounds like hoofbeats,
like rain, like the wild, endless grass
of Poland.
4 comments:
i am riveted by the richness of your characters and imagery. I feel the power of the feminine in every line.
Thanks, Janny! :-) Glad to know you're reading my poems - maybe I'll post another few next week.
Where do you get these ideas? I am impressed!
LYP
I don't know, Paps - the character literally just appeared one day, and I got interested in her. Sometimes I do a little research (like finding out that Forhenwald was the longest-running DP camp, or the exact date of JFK's assassination), but mostly I just dig. I dig into my imagination and let the story tell itself. This is a pretty infuriating way to explain it, but I think it's easier than actually writing a novel because I only have to work with one moment at a time.
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